Stop Drinking Little Dude

My little brother. I love him. He means the whole world to me. I know he means well. I know his intentions are always good. I just cannot stand him when he is drinking. He is a constant annoyance. He cannot handle his beer. He is a time bomb waiting to happen. I just wish he'd know his limit. I mean most normal people drink to have a great time, this kid is like a damn exploding sink. He is fucking unstable when he drinks. No one likes to be around him. A fight there, a fight here. I never want to take him in public because no one catches his drift. He's on a different wavelength than everyone else. He needs to help himself. My older brother asked me to help him. Honestly? You have to want help to help yourself and be helped. I know I'm so hard on him and he feels it too, but I say all my shit out on frustrations and concern. No love there. I love him when he's got a good head on top of his shoulders.

Damn Kids

Most kids now days are as inconsiderate as they are spoiled. Things have gotten so easy for them that they spend the majority of their time indoors hypnotized by game consoles, the internet, and movies on demand. It's sad that none of them understands the beauty of laying on the summer grass while the sun dances on your palms and on your forehead. In a time where iPods, iPads, and iPhones are a constant for these kids. They miss out on the magic of being in a library surrounded by thousands of books waiting to be read. One other thing that has drastically changed is their damn attitude. I wish they'd talk to adults with a little more respect. I'd gladly show a kid their place if America wasn't too in love with the idea of allowing a child to express themselves.

Freemen:

Nothing ever works in his favor. Not one card he can use to make a decent hand. Always dealt the lows sliding in the midriff. He began the year with such enthusiasm, and as the world kept grating his hopes, his faith started dwindling. Downward. Casting him in bed, where he'd lay forever. Dreaming big dreams, singing big songs, and yet nothing physically makes sense. So each coming day, less hope is made and less hope is projected. However, little by little, life has quite a sense of humor to remind a person to get back on his or her feet. The truth is, we get the wind knocked out of us, however, like video games, there are endless retries. Life is a game. His stamina may be low, manna maybe, but there's always a do over. At least that's what I think. 

Samoa's 50th Anniversary of Independence Performance:

Above, is a photo taken during our performance in Apia, Samoa during it's 50th Anniversary of Independence. It was quite a rainy day. There we were waiting in formation adorned in red feathers, red and yellow uniforms. The only thing that entered my head within the last five minutes before we actually performed was whether I was going to mess up the dance routines that we had practiced over and over again. My palms were clammy. There were beads of sweat accumulating on my forehead, and yet as soon as I heard a loud, "ATA MAI" ( that means to smile:) ), from one of the girls, I lit up. My jaws were wired in place and smiling (if falsely or truthfully) never felt so effortless. The whole dance itself came by so fast. All I could focus on at the moment were our line formations that our dance instructors have been so adamant on maintaining. It was a huge field, bu there were quite a few of us. However, we were as elegant as we were divine. The crowd was a bit difficult, but it wasn't until we ( the divas ) made our little routine, that the crowd started roaring with cheers and laughter. That was after all the effect that we were gunning for. After days and days of grueling practice, we have done it. We have brought our hearts from home to our neighboring island. We danced our hearts out, and we left with the lingering impression that guaranteed the audience that if we could do it one more time, there would be more. I was as proud as I ever was.We made the front page of Samoa's newspaper. They called our performance, "THE HIGHLIGHT OF ALL THE PERFORMANCES", they weren't exaggerating. It WAS. 

Lazy Me:

As soon as I got back from Apia after our performance for Samoa's 50th Anniversary of their Independence, I was well aware of the changes my body has made. I have grown a bit more fatigued and I was well content with just sleeping the rest of the day. I've been putting off half of the things I needed to do to apply for this teaching job again. I'm honestly trying my best to get back in sync but I feel so thrown off my track. But instead of bitching about it, I will begin to kick it into high gear. If I'm going to be serious about this job, I need to be a bit more initiating about my life and it's directions.

It's lovely to be back.

I haven't written in a long while. I haven't written for myself in a long while. Life has been a series of roller-coaster rides for me. So let's hope that I'm more consistent with my blogging entries. Maybe I am. Entries that are below are from my Tumblr account. I'll update as soon as I wake up. :)
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Rich In Prospect

• little leaf. oh dear however do you do it. to just hang there and watch as your friends and family fall one by one. how do you do it and not shed one tear, but dance to the beat of the wind? how do you manage to cope?
• little leaf. oh dear, how you have grown so fair. all green and promising and stronger now in growth. you have stood against the trials of brewing storms and yet again you have suffered loss. how do you manage to cope?
• little leaf, oh my you have aged with grace! spattered brown all over your coat. you have witnessed stolen kisses, gleeful and merry youth. are you not bereaved by playing idle? the remains of your kin are parts of their path? how do you manage to cope?
• little leaf, i have sought you out from the beginning to your nearest end. your decor is of old age. worn down by the hands of time. you are ready to depart, but my ache for your stay is stronger. you se, you are not a mere vessel of emptiness. how should i begin to cope?
• little leaf. descending to the warm tossed earth. your landing is of perfect timing. greeted by the dew kissed moss. you deserve to rest in the heat of the hearth after the wintry winds of night. you have lived a life so grand. how ever did you manage to cope?

-- 6424

Change: How you see it.

dancing leaves and painted skies

please do not depart,

for when all else is frail

i take refuge in my heart.

charging rain drops

all eager to make their way,

before the dark is branded

and the cold cloaks are laid.

little spot of sunshine

eager to kiss my palms,

and just like seconds,

your soothing aura is gone. 

little seeds ascending,

as fast they were in earth,

will once again fall,

for a chance of rebirth.

so as time may never wait,

and as fast as it may come

change is nothing more,

but a canary’s alluring song.

it lays a part of us to sleep,

only to wake anew

that the winds of the north

will always guide me and you. 

—6424

Dearly Departed:

Like buzzing bees on a royal day,

so quick to harvest sweet,

I find myself more driven by nature,

then when my heart did beat.

For when the sparrow,

Quivered sorrow,

And the jays refused

til’ ‘morrow,

My wrenching soul which 

Once was had hues,

Is now reduced.

Then so did I when the gust did blow,

it took a part of me.

A self realization that nature

governs thee. 

A framework much more intricate,

than I, a flesh of gathered stain,

That even when such glee does end,

they never die in vain.

—6424

Distance

Laid to waste in a fiery attempt

To sew the popping seams,

The cold conniving crease,

 Of what our love just could have been.

His casted eyes they burn,

And seep right through my soul,

Where there was once light,

Now riddles dark as coal.

Your touch as it was meant for fire,

Ices up my lungs,

Emptying out my storied songs,

Before they could be sung.

I lay on the tip of your tongue,

As I may not be kind to start,

That when we once knew love,

I slept, protected, inside your heart.

— 6424